faq – things to know about getting new altar work established

September 29, 2011 § Leave a comment

Here are the instructions I send out when clients book new work:

I’ll need you to send the following as a response to this email:

1.  the full name and date of birth of any people being inquired about, including yourself.  If you included this information in the “note to seller” box on the paypal payment page, then there is no need to resend — you can scroll down to see a copy of the information I received with your paypal payment.  If you have anything to add to this information below, please send it as a response to this email.  If you sent a separate email containing this information, please resend that info as a response to this email.  (The reason I ask this is that if I have to go through a bunch of emails and threads to locate your info and piece together your query, it increases the risk for confusion, omission, and misunderstanding, and it also increases the time it will take for me to prepare and send you your consultation.)  I cannot work with the same precision without full names and dates of birth.

2.  any photos you would like me to have in order to do the reading portion of your consultation.  Please do not ask me to visit websites or stalk your targets on social networking sites to obtain pictures; I need you to download any photo you want me to use and then email it to me. Also, please clearly identify every person in the photograph and let me know if I need to crop anyone out.  Please send photos as a response to this email instead of sending a new email or asking me to dig through old messages. I can work without photos if you do not want to send one or don’t have one handy.

3. a brief statement of the issue, question, or situation on which you are seeking consultation.  You do not have to give me a long litany or life story, though you may give me as much information as you are comfortable sending me.  It is quite helpful, even if you do send a lot of information, if you could please try to sum up your main concern or question in a sentence or two, to sort of introduce your additional information, so that I am clear on what is most important to you; consultations are very targeted and very practical, so it’s usually NOT a good idea to try to get twenty different very specific questions out of one consultation.  So a short statement encapsulating your main concern or goal helps me ensure I address that concern or goal specifically.  Please note, however, that as with photos and name/DOB info, I do ask you to send anything you want me to consider in your consultation as a response to this email, for the reasons outlined above.

I know you guys are eager when you are ready to start your altar work, and I know that some of you secretly think I’m being a pain in the ass when I ask you to follow the instructions you receive upon booking new work.  Why, you think, should you have to send me the photos again when you just sent them to me last month?  Why can’t I just get them out of that old email?  Why, you think, does it matter if you send the petition in one email versus another?  Why can’t I just look in the other email?  Why in the world am I so hung up on people replying to messages instead of sending second messages with a different subject line?  If I don’t see the info in that message, surely I know I can just click the other message that was sent just a couple of minutes later, right?  What does it matter if the petition is four sentences versus two?

Emails

Most of these problems would be solved if people would stop for a second, and imagine an inbox filled with fifty versions of “hi do u do spellwork and can give me a free spell about my boyfriend plz hurry its an emergency and no1 will help me please help”.”  Then they could recite the following mantra: “I am not her only client.”  And maybe “She has a system for a reason.”   So NO, I do not see one email and immediately cross-reference it with the other fifty emails you’ve sent me in the past eight months.  I get a vast number of messages every day, and I deal with an awful lot of paper.  I do not take on more work than I have room or time for, but even so i cannot reasonably be expected to keep every little detail in my memory or to remember which of those messages had the photo in it. I will be happy to go digging for that info and match up all the different threads and emails, but you are going to be waiting for no good reason while I do it.

The instructions I give folks when they book new work are given for a reason, and it’s not because I’m just cranky or on a power trip.  I’m not cranky at all when folks follow the instructions.  But some of the stuff some clients have pulled lately – woohoo, takes my breath away.  So I am going to type a post about it once and for all, because I am simply NOT going to write another email explaining it.  I will just give this URL to people who ask me if the instructions apply to them.

So here are some guidelines that anybody should keep in mind when establishing new altar work, whether they are working with me or not.  This article is part of the “how to be a good client” series (aka, how not to get fired by your rootworker).

When sending personal concerns:

* DO send me hair, fingernail clippings, bits from a napkin or straw that the target’s saliva got on, small scraps of clothing that have been pre-trimmed into small, usable sizes, photos, and/or dirt taken from a target’s foot track.  Send these things in small plastic bags, and put the name of the applicable person on the bag. Put something in the letter or note accompanying the concern that clearly gives me your name and your email address at the very least, and ideally includes a copy of the receipt for your work, our email exchange about what you were sending me, a copy of the contract, or *something.*

* Do NOT send me loose, unlabeled personal concerns, and Do Not send me sexual fluids.[*]  If I am making you a mojo bag, then I do not need a big hunk of hair, or an entire shirt, or an entire sock, or an entire soda can, so please trim the concern down appropriately.  No, I do NOT want the plastic  bag full of used pantiliners you’ve been keeping in your freezer, and I do NOT want the wad of tissues you’ve been collecting in your nightstand drawer next to the lube.  If it would be put in a biohazard bin at the doctor’s office, then I DO NOT WANT IT.  If your neighbor would want to wash his hands after touching it, then please stop and think before sending it to me in the mail.  I swear, some folks do not extend to us rootworkers the courtesy they would extend to the guy who cleans the bathroom at the gas station.

If you stop for just a second and think and try to put yourself in your worker’s shoes, you might realize that we get dozens of envelopes from clients every month.  I might have fifteen honey jars on my altars right now.  I might have six or ten client files in my “pending” area waiting on personal concerns to come in the mail.  If you think I’m going to open an envelope with nothing in it but a wad of cloth or tissue and 1. know immediately what person in what case in what file to put it with, 2. just cheerfully reach in and touch GOD-KNOWS-WHAT with my bare hands, you are just not thinking, and you are not being a smart client.

You are especially not being a smart client because I KNOW that if we discussed you sending me personal concerns, then I specifically told you to send non-bodily-fluid concerns, AND to send the concerns already in pieces or sections small enough for me to use with no further alteration, AND to send them in separate plastic baggies.  I KNOW I told you that if there is more than one person involved in your case, then you need to label the baggies – unless you want me to GUESS.  Do you really want me to guess when it comes to your rootwork? 

Please folks.  The instructions are not there to make your life harder or as a means for me to be a bitch. They are there to help you get the best, most accurate, and quickest service (and they are there to keep me from getting overwhelmed, grossed out, or stricken with hepatitis or something).  If you got an envelope full of crusty tissue or random dirty clothing in the mail, would you touch it?  No?  Then what makes you assume that I will?

SO. When sending personal concerns, do not send biohazard material.  Send concerns pre-trimmed into small, usable pieces appropriate to their destination if instructed to do so; at the very least, before you send that entire t-shirt, ask your worker what he or she needs and can use. You do not want a cranky worker, and you don’t want a sick one either.  If you follow the instructions, you will get quicker service and your work will be accurate, and things will go smoothly, and I will have more time to prep and tend your work.

When booking work or light settings with emailed “concerns” or petitions:

When you book a light setting, service, or consultation with me, you get, as a reply to your payment receipt, an email outlining the next steps you should take.  If you do NOT follow these instructions, then it is going to take a lot longer for your work to get started. That booking acknowledgment email will always ask you to send your photos, petition, info etc as a response to that email.  Just hit reply.  That is the goal, to have you just hit reply.

This keeps your info in the same thread, associated with the payment that initiated your new case/booking.  Some clients think that because they have been clients for a while, they can ignore the instructions, because surely they don’t apply to them – they’ve been a client for so long, and we were just talking about this case in another thread just yesterday, and we are friends (etc).

Especially established clients who are booking additional light settings:

But it’s actually *worse* when it’s established clients that do not follow the instructions.  If it’s a new client, I probably only have a couple of emails tops from them in my files.  I can match the petition to the payment with a fairly quick search, most likely.  But not with established clients.  Y’all established clients who have asked me “Do I need to send you the photo again?”, I want y’all to stop a sec and think of all those emails you’ve sent me over the last weeks or months or years.  Really think.  Now, imagine I get an email from you vaguely referencing some work I vaguely remember you mentioning before. I can’t be sure of the details without those other emails in front of me, though, because I’m NOT A MENTAT, and you haven’t associated the email with the payment that initiated your new case, and you haven’t hit reply to the instructional email I sent you, so it does not pop up in my inbox with the nifty tagging-and-flagging system I have set up so that I immediately know when a client petition or photo I’m waiting on comes in.

No, you don’t follow the instructions so that your email gets my *immediate attention* because it is a *pending file* on a paid case which means I may be opening my email specifically to look for *your email* so I can start *your work.*  Instead, you send a second email with a new subject line, or for some completely illogical reason, you send it as a reply *in another thread entirely* where we were talking about the case that was not at that time open yet, or talking about how your last light setting went, or something else.  If you send it as a reply in another thread, like the one that evolved from your last light setting, that thread might be tagged-and-not-flagged, because the tag is “work completed.”  That means it is most assuredly not getting flagged as a top priority in my inbox. Meanwhile, your pending work is pining away in my file waiting to be responded to so that it gets a bright yellow tag next to it telling me I can start your work.

Each new booking is a new file and a new beginning, in terms of organizing your info:

I encourage clients to think of the payment acknowledgment email as the beginning of a new file.  It does not exist prior to that email, and it is created when payment is received.  All the stuff that pertains to that case needs to be kept in that file.  Can I go through old emails and move old info to the new file? Sure. But you probably don’t have fifty open rootwork cases, nor twenty rootworkers clamoring for your attention, nor a stack of papers by your elbow waiting on new info to come in so orders and bookings can be processed.  So it makes sense for you to put the info you want to associate with that new case in the proper file – reduces the risk of error, omission, and confusion.

How my inbox tagging and flagging system works:

The way orders are processed means that if you do not send the info as requested, as a response to the email in the same thread that your payment acknowledgment is in, but rather send it in a new email (or worse yet, in an old email thread that already has a label like “work finished and filed” on it because we were having a conversation in the thread associated with a light setting I did a month ago), then your message containing photos, petition etc are just floating around in the inbox with the hundred or so emails I;ve gotten in the last few business days.  Meanwhile your new booking is still in the “pending” file with a label showing that I’m waiting on the info from you to begin.

I answer regular incoming emails in the order they are received, and I get a boatload, y’all.  But emails coming in that are related to a current, open case for paid rootwork damn straight get opened ahead of other emails.  When you send the info according to the instructions, then they pop up flagged in my inbox so that I know to go straight to them because they relate to pending altar work.   The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition, photo, etc is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I swear to God that is why they exist. I swear to God they do not exist because I want to drive my clients away with my nitpicky rules.

Bottom Line:

The instructions are there to help the client get their work faster and ensure  there are no mistakes, and that the proper petition is associated with the proper light setting every time.  I don’t ask y’all to hit reply because I need to reread my own booking acknowledgment instructions that I sent you; I ask y’all to hit reply because I need the info to come in associated with the current altar work, not the altar work you booked on Sep 4 and that was closed out on Sep 24.

And as for “I’m sure you still have the photos, so I won’t bother resending them,” it just does not work that way.  We USE the photos you send us. We write on them, put oils on them, set things on them. They get bent, they get sticky, they get wax drips. They may be burned, bent, folded, spindled, or mutilated, depending on the work.  And as for “I’m sure you can just reprint them,” it just does not work that way either.  I’m going to use a recent light setting client as an example really quick here – I just opened her file in my gmail account. She’s been a client for a bit over a year.  There are 55 email threads in her file.  Some have two or three messages in them.  Some have 35 messages in them. Some have 70 messages in them. Most have between ten and twenty.  And just for fun, she writes from one account but makes paypal payments from another account.

Do you really want me to sit here and spend twenty or thirty or forty minutes going through several hundred messages looking for that petition or that photo, redownloading it, and reprinting it?[**]  Or would you rather take ten extra seconds to attach the photo again so that I can spend that twenty or thirty minutes *starting your altar work*?  It really is up to you!

Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood rootworker who has just written all this out for the very last time 🙂  Happy hoodooing, and I’ll try to put up a more entertaining and less didactic post as soon as I get caught up with all these light settings that have been “pending” for four, five, even seven days waiting on client petitions or photos:-)


[*] There are reasons for you to send me things associated with sexual activity in some rare cases. Most of the time this stuff can be handled or added on your end.  But in those cases where you are sending a concern even remotely related to sexual fluids, I guarantee you are going to get very specific instructions ahead of time, and we are going to discuss it in detail, and if you then do not follow the instructions, you have just wasted all that transit and waiting time sending me stuff I will not touch, never mind use.

[**] Yes, I have tried creating folders on my computer and collecting client info in them as it comes in, so for returning clients I can just go to the folder to reprint a photo or double-check the spelling of a target name.  But y’all don’t always keep the same hair color, or the same names for that matter, and you don’t always keep the same targets, and you don’t always keep the same petitions, and over the years I have found that having clients simply give me the info they want me to use in any new case is the best option.

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